Tag Archives: video

Jesus had permanent God mode

14 Apr

Bible Adventures nintendo

Anyone remember playing this game?   I do!

I have vague memories of throwing animals, babies and  rocks, and addicting midi music.  Thanks to Elanarae for sharing his commentary on Bible Adventures via Youtube.

Enjoy the nostalgia everybody!

David & Goliath

Noah’s Ark

Baby Moses

I’m working on making my own religious themed game right now, but it’s still in the “pen on paper” stage. A type of Sim-church.

I’ve barely got any code written at all. But who knows, I may actually finish something.

Board Games

As a  kid, I also played the Pilgrim’s Progress board game:

Being a fan of fantasy books and movies, I really liked the Pilgrim’s Progress story.

Does anyone remember the movie Hoomania?  I thought it might have been a retelling of Pilgrim’s Progress, but apparently it followed the teachings of Proverbs. I wanted the game in that movie.

Hoomania

I also used to play a game called Denarii. I couldn’t find anything online about it.  It had Bible trivia so difficult that… well.. I doubt even Rod & Todd even knew most of the answers.

Anybody remember that Denarii game?  Or any other religious games?

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Super Kids: The Final Chapter

21 Jan

FOUND:

Commander Kellie & the Superkids

The Sword (VHS) (1997)


Kellie Copeland as Commander Kellie
Ryan Brockington as Paul   
Elizabeth Stewart as Missy
Jenny Van Wagner as Valerie
Stephen Glenn as Rapper
Joel Davis as Alex
Kenneth Copeland as Daniel Lyon
General Dread as Derek Southers
Professor Timothean as Dennis O’Neill  (the casting director)
 

The last adventure of Super Kids! Every movie starts with small talk, you know, to introduce the characters. Rapper apparently thinks footballers are sissys in pads. I thought he said something else. It’s a lively conversation, until “Buzzkill” Valerie butts in.

NME is at it again of course. Something about them creating a super weapon called “The Sword”, and the kids of the world are being lied to. General Fear is a bad dude, and his sword machine is not to be trifled with.

And Major Dread is just a big stupid evil teddy bear.

How could you be scared of this guy

Last movie, Paul (Ryan Brockington) was the main star, and I would say Valerie (Jenny Van Wagner) was showcased in this movie. She got the solos, and she got the “I’m-a-more-awesome-Christian-than-all-y’all” lines to read.

Valerie vs. General Fear’s sword machine

Jenny Van Wagner still works for the church. She’s on facebook if you care.

With the Super Kids quickly becoming not kids, there were a lot of little kids in this movie. Come on Jesus, lay down the child labor laws.

There was a seemingly random exchange in the beginning between Commander Kellie and a young Russia girl. She shows up, they speak Russian… then she leaves. Strange.

Then I remembered that the last movie had a rather ugly Russian woman as part of NME’s team. She was straight out of some cold war propaganda movie, only worse.

 I’m thinking little Natasha (is that really the only name they could come up with?) was some cleanup after the Copeland’s received some flack for their offensive stereotype.

 Especially since right after little Natasha leaves, a little boy walks up… “Kellie, does Jesus speak Russian?”

 Kellie should have back handed the stupid out of that kid. What kind of question is that?! No,  he’s still saving up for Rosetta Stone.

 “Yes, yes, we know Russians can be Christians. okay? Can you stop sending letters now, please?”

So the excitement continues as a new cadet is introduced to the Super Kids! Only the girls are bummed, because C.J. is yet another boy cadet. No one new to shop with <sob>

Or is he?….

Some kind of Elec…tronic Destruc…tive.. De..vice

Oh those baseball caps. They’ll get you every time.

Not too spoil it for you, but C.J. is a spy from NME. You see? She’s sneaky. With the boy disguise and the bad acting… she is up to no good.

Next, the NME has a brilliant plan. They create fake super kids, that General Fear dubs the “Fake Super Kids”.

Fake Super Kids

I can’t quite figure out what we are supposed to think of them. Are they making fun of the super kids? Are they supposed to be dancing in an evil way somehow? The choreography is off, is that a sin?

As far as parody Captains go, Kathryn Janeway (or I guess they call her Kate Mulgrew now), wins that one with her role in NTSF:SD:SUV.

Good god that show is funny.

Kate, you'll always be my only Captain

But I digress…

The Super Kids and some new lil’ Super Kids fight back, and destroy the Sword machine. Then C.J. tries to kill Commander Kellie, but fails after her dad sacrifices himself.  Finally C.J. joins the Super Kids and God wins, yay.

Look how cute these lil’ Super Kids are!

You know, I looked into this Super Kids manual book, and have you read this thing?! It’s disgusting!

“Hey Caleb, here’s today’s verse from the Super Kids manual”
“Ezekiel twenty three, twenty. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”
“Hmm. You know, let’s try Dr. Suess.”

The songs in this movie made me fall asleep, so I’m not even going to post them.

Goodbye Super Kids, you’ve filled our lives with.. um.. well, goodbye Super Kids.

See us out Rapper!

wait, was that a boob glance?

Super Kids… they grow up so fast.

18 Sep

FOUND:

Commander Kellie & the Superkids

Armor of Light (VHS) (1995)


Kellie Copeland as Commander Kellie
Ryan Brockington as Paul   
Elizabeth Stewart as Missy
Jenny Van Wagner as Valerie
Stephen Glenn as Rapper
Joel Davis as Alex
Kenneth Copeland as Daniel Lyon
Mylon LeFevre as Darkmaster

Another exciting adventure of Super Kids! They grow up so fast.

Intro

You might remember my last post, where we are introduced to NME (the bad guys), and Super Kids helping the lost musician (Carman) find his way to God.

Now, they are fighting much evil-er (?) dudes. Thank goodness Daniel Lyon (get it), played by Kellie’s dad, Kenneth Copeland, is there to help! Kenneth plays his version of the most badass guy he can think of. Which just makes him seem pretty ridiculous.

This video features a lot of Paul (Ryan Brockington), which is fine by me. I like Paul. He’s an okay guy, who rides motocross bikes and sings solos.

Paul serenades Darkmaster in his giant sweatershirt

And even better, we get to hear The Rapper (Stephen Glenn) finally get to prove to us why he deserves his namesake. Listen up Super Kids, he’s got a rhyme. It’s funky, it’s fresh, and it’s right on time!

The Rapper Raps (and Paul dances in his giant sweatershirt)

The ending scenes with Darkmaster, Paul and David Lyon have this Star Wars feel to them. SPOILER ALERT! Finding out Darkmaster and David Lyon are actually brothers. And Darkmaster’s computerized raspy evil voice comes to an end when Paul lifts his helmet off his head, redeeming him. I don’t know… I’m a big geek, so maybe I’m reading too much into it. After all, I did compare Commander Kellie to Captain Janeway in my last post 😛

It’s a big cheesy happy good time ending, with Darkmaster and David Lyon becoming friends in about 3 minutes. And then sharing a duet.

End of Armor of Light in all it’s Christian Cheesefest Glory

My favorite part of watching these old videos is trying to find out what these child actors are doing now.

Ryan Brockington is on youtube and was a Music Blogger with the NY Post’s PopWrap. He also hosts LogoTV videos. Like this one:

And after MUCH internet sleuthing, I’m excited I finally found a casting page for Stephen Glenn (The Rapper). Someone give this guy some work! He’s got skillz.

Can we still call you The Rapper?

I believe I have one more Super Kids video in my thrift store finds box. So stay tuned!

What’s that? You want even more Armor of Light? Alright… if you say so.

The NME = Valley girls, Jocks, Drug Users, Gays, and Commies?

Super Kids sing. Choreography replaced by a ladder.

McGee and me! Joe Dammann is okay, Shaylisa is nice, but Whit Hertford is awesome

14 Aug

I claim to be a child of the “christian 90’s”. So what kind of blogger would I be without a post about McGee and Me?  It was just a matter of time really…

FOUND:

The New Adventures McGee and me!

In the Nick of Time (ep. 10) (1992)



Joe Dammann will always just be Nick to me. I remember watching the “New Adventures” for the first time, as a pre-teen, and wondering..”Oh no, is that what turning into a teenager looks like?!”

Thanks to McGee and me I truly feared God and puberty.  Joe seems to be doing more behind the scene work, voice over, and smaller part stuff, but still in the biz.

joe dammann

Far too many M's and N's in your name Sir

Joe’s Facebook – maybe he will be your friend. I’m sure he won’t find it weird or anything.

Whit Hertford plays nerdy little Philip. He was always my favorite. Plus, I was a big Full House fan as a kid (don’t judge), so I knew him as ‘duck face’ as well. He’s a ‘unique’ looking fella, and a Mormon to boot. Well, occurding to the LDS website they claimed him as a LDS celebrity. I guess they define celebrity loosely. Heck, I guess I know who he is.

I hadn’t heard of him in years, then all of a sudden I was watching Glee (which I never watch), and the choreographer for the episode looked awfully familiar. Then I realized, Hey! That’s Whitby!

He’s using the internet like a madman, making videos (Funny or Die), being on late night, and having several websites full of funny stuff. Check out his tumblr.

Shaylisa Hurte starred as Renee, Nick’s only girl friend. She was okay I guess. I didn’t find her all that interesting, but her parents were divorced (shocking!).

Nowadays she can help you sell your house.

New Adventures McGee and me Intro

McGee and me  – edited the way I want

Of all the Christian videos for kids, I found McGee and Me to be the least annoying, and more professionally done. I didn’t realize until now that they were produced by Focus on the Family. I can’t stand Focus on the Family, so it kinda sucks to know I actually enjoyed something they had a hand in.

McGee and Me had a bunch of awkward kids, that made even me seem cool at the time. There are a lot of Bible verses, and a moral lesson to learn in every video of course. They aren’t so bad, for a Christian kid series anyways.

And actually had some talented kid actors that went on to do other things.

Next…  More SuperKids

Kirk or Picard? Janeway or Kellie?

14 Jul

My local Christian thrift store came through again, and I found a couple of Superkids videos. Below is the first one..


FOUND:

Commander Kellie & the Superkids

The Intruder (VHS) (1992)

kellie and superkidsKellie Copeland as Commander Kellie
Ryan Brockington as Paul   
Elizabeth Stewart as Missy
Jenny Van Wagner as Valerie
Stephen Glenn as Rapper
Joel Davis as Alex
Cory Edwards as NME Agent  
Carman as Mario

Commander Kellie and her super kids are part of the Superkids Academy. They fight the evil NME Corporation (Notoriously Malicious Enterprises), a media company that spreads evil programming (FOX?).

Intro

They believe if they can control the children, they can control the future. Hmm… Christians should know a little something about that. Get the kids to church, and they stay in church. And the parents follow, right Christians, right?  I didn’t have the privilege of watching this show as a kid, but I’m pretty sure I would have liked it. The sci-fi theme, combined with militaristic uniforms and dance choreography is a guaranteed winner.

I love how these shows make it seem like unbelievers = evil bad-guys who believe in God, but fight against him despite the fact that you have to be a complete idiot to think you’ll win. Hey Kids! Join the SuperKids Academy, and you too will defeat every straw man that comes your way!

Carman guest stars in this video. During the second song, they keep shooting to him staring and nodding, like he’s checking them all out. Creepy.

Carman approves

Commander Kellie reminds me of Captain Janeway. Well, only because she’s in uniform, has boobs, and if you squint your eyes she kinda looks like her. Oh, and she touches people waaay too much.

it's called personal space Commander

It being 1992, there is of course a rapping kid, who goes by the original name of “The Rapper“.  He wears his hat backwards and says “Yo” alot.

Alex (Joel Davis)  is the token nerd, and token minority. And he’s adorable. I’m pretty sure I found him online, still in the ministry. And still flashing that smile.

maybe Alex, what do you think?

Every children’s show has the “Leader Kid”, and in this show it would be Paul (Ryan Brockington). He has done some work here and there since then.

Paul/Ryan Brockington

Finally there’s the evil NME agent. He makes funny faces and I think he’s supposed to be the comic relief.

Cory Edwards

He’s also done some impressive work since then as the writer/director of Hoodwinked!  A funny movie by the way 🙂

Commander Kellie is the real star of course. She’s played by Kellie Copeland Swisher, the daughter of big time televangelists Kenneth and Gloria Copeland. She’s still in the ministry but gets flack for being a 3 time divorcee. Hey, you can’t expect Commander Kellie to stay tied down when she’s got a whole crew of kids stuck in the Delta Quadrant, and the Borg on her ass!

Below are the two featured songs, which include ALL of the dance moves invented in the early 90’s.

Superkid Academy Song

The “Truth in the Word” song has the best choreography EVER. It reminds me of the dance scene from Romy & Michelle. But you may compare them yourself and see.

Superkids “Truth in the Word” song featuring Creepy Carman

Romy & Michelle dance. Same choreographer?

Next…  Lost in Silver Canyon
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