Let us pray for the prayer we will pray

6 Aug

FOUND:

Lost in Silver Canyon (VHS) (1990)

lost in silver canyon video

Starring:

Vittorio Aversano as the old prospector/mime
David Mook as the preacher
DeWitt Jones as Sam Starr
Vanessa Baker as Vanessa
Joe Kimpel as Joe
Wes Baker as Dad
Rebecca Baker as Mom

Lost in Silver Canyon is bad. I mean, really bad. It’s the story of two preacher kids going to camp, who get left alone at the ghost town Silver Canyon.

Oh, but surprise! It’s not them that is lost. Oh no. It’s the old mime-turned-mine prospector that is truly lost, because he doesn’t have Jesus as his personal savior. Maybe these kids will help him out somehow?

At first watching, I felt like everyone in this movie had a mental disorder. There’s the mentally challenged detective, the young girl with childhood schizophrenia, the sociopathic boy, and I can’t quite pinpoint what’s wrong with the mime. But does anyone really know what’s wrong with Mimes?

After a second sitting (the entire 70min!), I felt like I learned something.

1. Apparently True Christians don’t know what “fun” means.

2. True Christians pray every 10 minutes, about everything.

3. When True Christians speak, 23.5% of the conversation consists of bible verses.

This movie was so awful, it was fun to watch at times.  Except for the private detective, Sam Starr. It was all I could do not to fast-forward every time he was on screen. His exasperated grunts hurt my soul. And the editor thought that adding the ONE cartoony spring sound effect over and over would somehow make him funnier.

Introducing Sam Starr

The old couple woke me up, since they actually tried to emote something. And the family devotion scene was so weird, I’m not sure what was going on. Maybe I’ll just blame the editor for that. Though to be fair, watching ANY family devotion would probably be weird.

At least the Psalty videos hired real actors. But I’m sure the Mr. Button videos couldn’t afford such things, so the cast consists of preachers and their families.

Lost in Silver Canyon – edited down for your viewing pleasure

silver canyon video

The “Actors”

Vittorio Aversano plays the prospector mime. I can’t say for sure if he’s done other film work. There is one credit in IMDB, for a television show called Savage Journey, from 1983. Maybe it had a mime.

David Mook plays the preacher leading the kids to camp. The one on the bus who tells them they are all going to die some day.

Turns out he’s a real preacher (surprise, surprise), and is currently the reverend at Phoenix Free Presbyterian Church. He studied Dramatic Production at Bob Jones University, so I suppose it’s nice he was able to use his degree.

DeWitt Jones was the “lovable and fun” private detective Sam Starr. I’m not 100% sure, but I believe he is the same DeWitt Jones: professional photographer, with an impressive resume. He studied drama and film-making while in college, but thank god he switched to photography.

Then there’s the family.

Vanessa Baker is the little girl, who tends to forget where she is. Is this Vanessa now? An attorney in Washington state?

Wes Baker plays Wes, the preacher Dad. I’m guessing he’s Vanessa’s real dad, given the name. Wes studied Radio-Television production at Bob Jones University, probably where he met David Mook. Currently he’s at Cedarville University.

Finally there’s Joe Kimpel, the prayer warrior. He prays no less than 15 billion times in this movie. Do you know Joe Kimpel? Is this Joe , a comic book creator? I can’t decide if this is the same guy, but maybe he’ll find this post and set things straight.

Tell us Joe, were YOU the one lost in silver canyon?

Joe Kimpel of Silver Canyon fame? Or just some dude named Joe Kimpel.

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