Youtube Short starring Joe Dammann

“Drink Machine” w/ Joe Dammann from McGee & Me (2009)

Extra Bonus:

Live from… somewhere in Oklahoma? … it’s Fire by Nite!

I never saw Fire by Nite during it’s heyday, but I discovered it via my favorite local Christian-run thrift store. I picked up every glorious VHS they had.

Maybe you watched the show and know what the deal is with them. But I was totally new to it, and what a treat
Fire by Nite was produced by Willie George Ministries, out of Tulsa Oklahoma.

Big Willie G

Willie also brought us the fun ol’ time known as The Gospel Bill Show.

 

Clip Show

Fire by Nite brought so many Christian gems.. Here are a few I’ve uploaded:

Family First, Fire by Nite’s take on a Christian family sitcom. This is a blooper reel.

 

Here’s a premise! What if Rocky was actually called Chunky, and…and…um.. yeah not exactly sure why this is funny.

 
or Miami vice, if Miami was actually in Oklahoma

 

Musical Artists!

That’s right. Fire by Nite would always have a special musical guest, just like SNL. Michael W. Smith, Petra (twice), DC Talk, ect…

Then there is this guy, Kenny Marks, who is just ridiculous. I remixed him for your pleasure.

 
And how do you explain rap, to a white Canadian living in Oklahoma in the early 90′s? Watch Stephen Wiley do just that (sorry for the shitty dub):

 
DC Talk was my first introduction to Christian “rap”. I’m still in therapy.
Now let’s take a Bible Break!

 
That’s right, I was a teen in the 90′s. I hung out with kids like these Fire by Nite teens:

 

Where are they Now?

A lot of the..uh… actors?…  I couldn’t find through my research (Google). But I did find a couple.

Blaine Bartel, the youth pastor himself, ran headfirst into scandal two years ago. He admitted to an affair, and resigned as pastor of Northstar Church (in Texas) after it became public.

He has a couple of videos uploaded on Youtube, helping people with Church marketing tips. Which end with the message “Please hire me!!”. Well, maybe not in so many words, but it’s there.

 

John and Viccijo (“Vickie Joe”) Witty
 

 
These two are all OVER the internets. Facebook and facebook, twitter, and of course, YOU TUBE!!

 
Oh, I get it. This video wasn’t meant to be funny. They are really big on ending slavery in Oklahoma. Yeah, that’s right, apparently human trafficking is a huge problem in Oklahoma. Not sure that was a topic on Fire by Nite.. too bad. And on that light note!

When Canada and Oklahoma come together to put together a Christian clip show, I have to say, it has interesting consequences. Where are the current day Christian ripoffs? I have to assume they are out there somewhere, right?

Jesus had permanent God mode

Anyone remember playing this game?   I do!

I have vague memories of throwing animals, babies and  rocks, and addicting midi music.  Thanks to Elanarae for sharing his commentary on Bible Adventures via Youtube.

Enjoy the nostalgia everybody!

David & Goliath

Noah’s Ark

Baby Moses

I’m working on making my own religious themed game right now, but it’s still in the “pen on paper” stage. A type of Sim-church.

I’ve barely got any code written at all. But who knows, I may actually finish something.

Board Games

As a  kid, I also played the Pilgrim’s Progress board game:

Being a fan of fantasy books and movies, I really liked the Pilgrim’s Progress story.

Does anyone remember the movie Hoomania?  I thought it might have been a retelling of Pilgrim’s Progress, but apparently it followed the teachings of Proverbs. I wanted the game in that movie.

End of Hoomania

I also used to play a game called Denarii. I couldn’t find anything online about it.  It had Bible trivia so difficult that… well.. I doubt even Rod & Todd even knew most of the answers. Seriously though, this was my house:

I was a female version of Todd

Anybody remember that Denarii game?  Or any other religious games?

David’s Rocks

FOUND:

David, God’s Champion (VHS)

Another Wiser Family video to add to my thrift store finds collection. This time the Wiser puppets delight us with the story of David.  We hear stories of how he was able to take on Lions and Giants, despite being a small guy. So many Bible stories read like old Roman mythologies.

..

Wiser family wants us all to know that God still talks to you today, every day! If you don’t hear God (and I hope they don’t mean audible voices), then you aren’t listening. This means kids will either believe they hear something, or they will make themselves hear something. Otherwise, they aren’t real Christians. That can lead to some really dangerous, or at the very least, confusing thinking.

God Will Talk to You

..

The David & Goliath story is fun. I found it funny that the Wiser family chose to tell the story from the point of view of David’s sling rocks. Haha, really?  They teach that no matter how small and seemingly pointless you are, you should let God use you. Well, that’s certainly a unique interpretation.

But when God doles out purpose filled lives,  you can’t all be hard blunt objects to bash a man’s brains in. ewwww.

God wants to Use You too!

..

The David and Jonathan story is one of the great love stories in the Bible. Naomi and Ruth would be the other one. Mary and Joseph to some extent, but not nearly as romantic. David and Jonathan obviously loved each other, and the Wiser video helps illuminate that.

“Davathan”

..

To end their video, the Wiser Family Puppet Band gives us a lively rap. I can’t get enough of Christian rap. Whether it’s homophobic DC Talk,  side hugs, or born-again puppets, I’m all about it.

Set Us Free

..

Am I feeling some Sugarhill Gang influence in there?… Hotel! Motel! Holiday Inn!

..

A Little Wiser Family Trivia

The Wiser Family videos were written and directed by Peter Enns. Not the Peter Enns, who was recently suspended from Westminster, after causing some controversy.

But the Canadian Peter Enns.

He’s a Poet, and a media producer among other things. He even wrote President G.W. Bush to tell him about a dream he once had…

THE MAJESTIC EAGLE! CD WAS BIRTHED BY A DREAM AND A LETTER FROM PRESIDENT G.W. BUSH.

Writer/Producer Peter Enns says, “On June 18, 2002, I had a dream. In the dream, President G.W. Bush visited Tulsa, Oklahoma. Going down the receiving line, when I met the President, he said, “Peter, I like what you write”. In my dream, at the President’s invitation, I rode with him in his motorcade.
Sitting in the back of that big black limousine, I wanted to share a Good Word For America! with the President. I was embarrassed, when I forgot the lines, so I offered to send him some of the prints from my Good Word For America!  writings. The next day, as I was thinking about this most unusual dream, I decided to write a letter to the President. In the letter, I shared my dream and enclosed the prints I had promised to send to him.

Two months later, August 24, 2002 on a Saturday morning, I sensed an urgency to produce a Patriotic CD featuring my Good Word For America! That morning I wrote the title cut, The Majestic Eagle! Sunday afternoon, August 25, I was reminded of my earlier dream of the President. I prayed, “Lord if I have a letter and a photo from President George W. Bush & The First Lady in the mail tomorrow, I will produce the Majestic Eagle! CD.”

When I checked the mail on Monday, my heart skipped a beat!  I saw a large envelope from the White House, post marked Crawford Texas.  As I opened it, there was a letter from President Bush, dated August 16, 2002, with an autographed photo of the President and First Lady Laura Bush.

At this point, I felt I had no alternative. With studio musicians and back up vocalists I recorded my Majestic Eagle! CD, With a Good Word For America! The Majestic Eagle! CD is now available through radio and television interviews, bookstores, online and by calling a toll free number.

 

Now I’m not saying that this guy needs a reality check… but, okay maybe I am.  If a signed form letter and a picture from the White house is a message from the ultimate power of the Universe, well, color me surprised. Just my opinion of course. Some people hear God and see God every day, and think God plans for them to defeat Giants.

The other big player in the Wiser Family Videos is the animator. The animation sequences were done by Lock Wolverton. He is/was? an animator for Disney, and was even part of the Disney Institute Animation Events that ran from 1998-2003.  The brochure from the 1998 event said of Lock:

Lock is a graduate of Ringling school of art and design in Sarasota, FL and Famous Artists Schools. His experience as an independent animator spans more than eighteen years. Lock taught animation at the college level as an adjunct professor at Oral Roberts University, Tulsa OK. Lock has received numerous awards for animated productions, including eight regional Addy’s, three Telly Awards, the Golden Ring and the Silver Spur to name a few.

http://i-animate.org/event/1998/pdf/1998%20Information%20Packet.pdf

I’m actually a little surprised that the animation was done by somebody who worked for Disney. The animation isn’t horrible, but not particularly good either. Maybe the equipment he was working with wasn’t very sophisticated, or more likely, he wasn’t being paid much.

What was the Disney Institute Event about?  Here’s a video if you’re interested (sorry about the bad VHS quality):

..

“David, God’s Champion” was your typical Wiser Family Video. Now go out there and fight lions, fight giants, love your brother, and follow your dreams!

You can send the President your dreams of him at:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20501

Super Kids: The Final Chapter

FOUND:

Commander Kellie & the Superkids

The Sword (VHS) (1997)

Kellie Copeland as Commander Kellie
Ryan Brockington as Paul   
Elizabeth Stewart as Missy
Jenny Van Wagner as Valerie
Stephen Glenn as Rapper
Joel Davis as Alex
Kenneth Copeland as Daniel Lyon

General Dread as Derek Southers

Professor Timothean as Dennis O’Neill  (the casting director)

 

The last adventure of Super Kids! Every movie starts with small talk, you know, to introduce the characters. Rapper apparently thinks footballers are sissys in pads. I thought he said something else. It’s a lively conversation, until “Buzzkill” Valerie butts in.

NME is at it again of course. Something about them creating a super weapon called “The Sword”, and the kids of the world are being lied to. General Fear is a bad dude, and his sword machine is not to be trifled with.

And Major Dread is just a big stupid evil teddy bear.

How could you be scared of this guy

Last movie, Paul (Ryan Brockington) was the main star, and I would say Valerie (Jenny Van Wagner) was showcased in this movie. She got the solos, and she got the “I’m-a-more-awesome-Christian-than-all-y’all” lines to read.

Valerie vs. General Fear’s sword machine

Jenny Van Wagner still works for the church. She’s on facebook if you care.

With the Super Kids quickly becoming not kids, there were a lot of little kids in this movie. Come on Jesus, lay down the child labor laws.

There was a seemingly random exchange in the beginning between Commander Kellie and a young Russia girl. She shows up, they speak Russian… then she leaves. Strange.

Then I remembered that the last movie had a rather ugly Russian woman as part of NME’s team. She was straight out of some cold war propaganda movie, only worse.

 I’m thinking little Natasha (is that really the only name they could come up with?) was some cleanup after the Copeland’s received some flack for their offensive stereotype.

 Especially since right after little Natasha leaves, a little boy walks up… “Kellie, does Jesus speak Russian?”

 Kellie should have back handed the stupid out of that kid. What kind of question is that?! No,  he’s still saving up for Rosetta Stone.

 ”Yes, yes, we know Russians can be Christians. okay? Can you stop sending letters now, please?”

So the excitement continues as a new cadet is introduced to the Super Kids! Only the girls are bummed, because C.J. is yet another boy cadet. No one new to shop with <sob>

Or is he?….

Some kind of Elec…tronic Destruc…tive.. De..vice

Oh those baseball caps. They’ll get you every time.

Not too spoil it for you, but C.J. is a spy from NME. You see? She’s sneaky. With the boy disguise and the bad acting… she is up to no good.

Next, the NME has a brilliant plan. They create fake super kids, that General Fear dubs the “Fake Super Kids”.

Fake Super Kids

I can’t quite figure out what we are supposed to think of them. Are they making fun of the super kids? Are they supposed to be dancing in an evil way somehow? The choreography is off, is that a sin?

As far as parody Captains go, Kathryn Janeway (or I guess they call her Kate Mulgrew now), wins that one with her role in NTSF:SD:SUV.

Good god that show is funny.

Kate, you'll always be my only Captain

But I digress…

The Super Kids and some new lil’ Super Kids fight back, and destroy the Sword machine. Then C.J. tries to kill Commander Kellie, but fails after her dad sacrifices himself.  Finally C.J. joins the Super Kids and God wins, yay.

Look how cute these lil’ Super Kids are!

You know, I looked into this Super Kids manual book, and have you read this thing?! It’s disgusting!

“Hey Caleb, here’s today’s verse from the Super Kids manual”

“Ezekiel twenty three, twenty. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

“Hmm. You know, let’s try Dr. Suess.”

The songs in this movie made me fall asleep, so I’m not even going to post them.

Goodbye Super Kids, you’ve filled our lives with.. um.. well, goodbye Super Kids.

See us out Rapper!

wait, was that a boob glance?